July 21, 2008
Terminal 5, taxi stand fix, fried truth wrapped in bacon
 NewYorkology’s back from the longest vacation in the site’s history (since August 2004) as I’ve been off in Europe for a few weeks. Arriving into JFK last night, New York City felt a bit broken by comparison. We had very long waits on the plane last night, including 25 minutes parked between two runways so busy that air traffic controllers couldn’t be bothered to tell our pilot how long we’d be stuck there, he told us. And yes, I am aware there were two near-misses on JFK runways while I was gone.
And then there was the shameful taxi situation. Of course we were confronted by a dozen men offering (illegal) taxi service before we got to the long, official line for taxis. Tons of taxis, but the problem was the two official busy-bodies who felt the need to chat/lecture every taxi driver and every passenger, one-by-one. You couldn’t get past these guys. At the London train stations, you hit the front of the taxi queue and a guy points to a number painted on the ground, you stand there, and about six cabs are filled and once, thank you and goodbye.
Another thing that would be nice to see here: free wi-fi on trains, like England’s regional National Express does.
Another observation I’m still working through: Not even counting the anti-Bush sentiment, the U.S. isn’t faring too well, in some subtle ways. The dollar is weak, so of course everything feels expensive, but it feels weird that no one wants it. We spent a week in Central Europe, and they’re all perfectly fine accepting their local currency, but the second option was Euros. Back when I lived there in the early ’90s, everyone wanted U.S. dollars.
In Prague, we happened upon a massive anti-U.S. radar rally (video,) on the day U.S. Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice was there to get the Czechs to agree to host the missile-tracking facility. The action apparently had the effect of uniting ordinary Czechs in protest with the likes of Greenpeace, army veterans, anarchists, communists and many others. Mind you, when President George (no W.) Bush addressed the Czechs in 1990 on the one-year anniversary of the Velvet Revolution, it was said to be the largest group of people he’d ever addressed in his life. Times change.
 We had drinks with a bunch of Czechs I used to work with, and at one point we talked about when they were all next coming to the U.S. That’s when I learned about the visas. Mind you, they’re members of the EU now, yet still there’s this complex, time-consuming, expensive, arbitrary (and insulting) process just to get permission to visit the U.S. as a tourist. I heard the same complaint in Hungary, with the added indignation that some recent travelers made the papers there after they had endured the interviews, paid the fees, flown to the U.S. with their visas, only to be told at the airport that their name is on some list and they must fly back to Budapest on their own dime - and with no explanation why they were being denied entry here.
So think about that Mayor Bloomberg, if you’re really serious about luring those lucrative foreign tourism dollars, as they’ve got lots of choices of places to go where they’re not treated like criminals even before they arrive at our broken airports.
I should clarify that the folks we talked to aren’t in any way anti-U.S., they (like a lot of folks here) would just like to see some things fixed.
OK, a few more tidbits from the trip:
On the Heathrow Express train yesterday, the TV was playing a curious, long ad from HelpNYPD.org, which this morning I’ve discovered is the website for the NYC Police Foundation, “the only organization authorized to raise funds on behalf of the NYPD.” The extended video is on their site, but the one I saw on the train had sort of an “Unsolved Mysteries” feel to it, with NYPD Chief Ray Kelly and others explaining how they solved a (non-terror related) pizza robbery based on the suspect’s “Sugar” tattoo.
 Best menu translation (tie): “fleshless meats” in Bratislava - for their vegetarian offerings
fried “truth” in Prague - for a trout (which when ordered at another restaurant was surprisingly served wrapped in bacon, which is really how all truth should be served, now isn’t it?)
We had three visits to Heathrow’s new Terminal 5, including an arrival from the U.S., which was flawless, an arrival from Budapest, which was fine until all the bags from our plane were confused with three other planes for more than an hour, and yesterday’s departure, which allowed us time to explore the new terminal.
We had lunch at Gordon Ramsay’s Plane Food, which has an open design (including some retro-feeling ’60s wing-shaped benches,) perfectly fine food well-plated, nice wine, and coming in late August … “plane picnics” which you’ll be able to grab at the take-out counter and bring on your flight.
The Terminal 5 building itself is pretty cool up in the rafters, feeling like a cross between an airplane hangar and the Kennedy Space Center. But down on the ground, it feels like the advertisers got a bit too much of what they wanted, with lots of “interrupting” features, meant to shove ads in your way or feed you into yet another shop. It adds to the glossy Orwellian feel of the place, which includes a mandatory “biometrics” station at the front of security.
British Airways’ terraces lounge (which we had access to because my husband’s a frequent flier for work,) was excellent with great runway views, well-positioned furniture, gobs of free wine, food and media in multiple languages. The bathrooms pretty much look like they’re made for a pre-travel tryst, as each self-contained room affords maximum privacy, its own sink and the door leads to a generic hallway. They also have some free spa services from Elemis. However, the Terraces make no gate announcements and the electronic board there listed our gate number incorrectly. Indeed, our flight was delayed because a first class passenger “got lost in the terminal” and his bags needed to be removed from the plane, our pilot said.
The worst thing about Terminal 5 (besides the luggage) was the bus ride to the plane. We boarded at an A gate, but the bus toted us out to the C range. This was waaay longer than what JetBlue’s doing at its temporary JFK terminal. At Terminal 5, the bus was packed like an NYC subway at rush hour and the driver booked it across the tarmac, including some sharp turns which didn’t go over so well with the standing passengers toting heavy carry-ons.
 We flew EasyJet to Prague out of Stansted, which was surprisingly fine. The airport has a smart station with counters near the check-in desks where you can rearrange your luggage (for overweight bags and all those carry-on security rules.) Before our 6 a.m. flight, we stayed at the adjacent Radisson, where the lawn is trimmed by rabbits.
Ugly Americans, rest easy, the Brits have taken over. In 24 hours in Slovakia, we saw a large table of Brit boys skip out on a bar bill, and saw a group on a bachelor party/stag weekend wearing T-shirts that bore a picture of the groom-to-be and the phrase: “Bratislava … it’s like Prague but without the rules.”
Postcard slogans from Prague’s Museum of Communism:
“You couldn’t get laundry detergent, but you could get your brainwashed”
“We don’t have it, we’re not open, go and bother someone else!”
“Come and see the times when Voice of America was still the voice of freedom”
From the taxi at the entrance to the Budapest Airport, caught just a glimpse of what I guessed to be a Malev Museum. Apparently the Hungarian airline has parked a bunch of its retired planes in a park out front.
And finally, props are due to Tablet Hotels and the Alchymist Hotel of Prague. We originally booked the Nosticova Residence through Tablet. A week before the trip, Tablet told us the renovations weren’t yet complete at the Nosticova, so they offered to move us to the sister-property at the Alchymist, or another one if that didn’t meet our needs. The hotel was exceptional. A bit heavy on the gilded look for my taste, but the staff was superior, rooms were flawless, the location is ideal, and the building was chock-a-bloc with history.
So enough of my vacation. Things should soon get back to normal, in a souped-up way at NewYorkology as the break gave me a lot of time to think about reorganizing the site, cutting down the clutter and making it easier to find the best stuff fast. More on those changes as the summer progress, including a call to local bloggers for micro-neighborhood guides — hopefully for a Septemberish debut. As always, thanks for reading — amy langfield
Picture credits: Amy Langfield.
July 21, 2008 12:29 PM in About
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