December 06, 2006

10 ways to screw up your trip to New York City

Last weekend the New York Times took a stab at a few of the obvious ways to mess up your vacation to NYC -- drive here and pay for parking, stay in Midtown, and pay full-price for theater tickets.

NewYorkology would like to add a few more:

1. Book your stay at a hotel that hasn't yet opened, such as the Hotel Mela. Sure media outlets such as The Scotsman, (No 1. on its list of "20 ...cool things to do in New York this Christmas,") and The Times of London ("Hotel Mela opened last month, ...") are raving about the new boutique hotel off Times Square, but it's not opening at least until January 2007. (A hotel rep is posting on a TripAdvisor forum explaining he's trying to reach people who booked for December.) Or you could have paid $700 a night to climb over ladders at the London NYC even after it was officially opened.

2. An excellent way to ruin your trip to the Statue of Liberty or Ellis Island is to show up in the afternoon to discover a) the only way to get inside the statue or its museum is to book in advance or show up right at 8:30 a.m. and get the special (free) passes before they're gone; and, b) realize that that by showing up late in the day, it’s nearly impossible to do both Ellis and the Statue of Liberty.

3. Plan to save a lot of cash by taking all your family's heavy luggage with you on AirTrain from JFK to the subway and not worrying that you may have to transfer a couple times -- often up and down stairs.

4. Trust Broadway's marketing of selected, edited quotes from critics and then pay full price to take your family to a stinker.

5. Skip some museums because they’re too expensive – rather than checking when they have free hours or suggested donation policies.

6. Pay more than $150 to hold a reservation at a place like Tavern on the Green (now only $25 per person if booked online,) that you’ll forfeit if you're a no-show or arrive late, then show up in your formalwear only to cool your heels with a hundred other tux-clad folks held hostage for more than 90 minutes by the maitre 'd who will only seat people who bribe him. Add insult to injury by asking your waiter if a large group just cleared out and listen to him say no, it's actually been surprisingly slow all night. (True story.)

7. Block the subway doors while people are trying to exit, get stabbed. (A fluke, but true.)

8. Wear shorts and flip-flops to a Broadway show, talk loudly, unwrap noisy candy, eat a sandwich and Doritos, let your cell phone ring and send extended text messages, (again, all true,) …and get jumped by rabid theatergoers. (Not true, yet.)

9. Hope to save time on your last day by taking your full-size suitcase with you while shopping and set it down "just for a second" while you go "just over here" to look at something and leave it to the NYPD to decide if it's just a suitcase or a suitcase bomb.

10. Cross the street on red with the New Yorkers and fail to realize they fully intend to break into a jog midway across to avoid the oncoming bus.

December 6, 2006 09:07 AM in Basic NYC Guide

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